“What do you expect from a match on Tinder? A fairytale wedding?”
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We all have heard it very much often everywhere. Needless to say, it’s indeed a fact that we ought to never expect much on any kind of dating platform on internet. But have we all realised it, not to expect much from Tinder or OkCupid or etc., is actually just as same as not to expect much from a person we meet IRL? Just because we’ve met them IRL, it doesn’t mean they’re legit, no?
All we can do is to do our own research, aside from having conversations with them either online or IRL to get to know each other better. Meeting someone new at a certain event like a seminar may leave you a hint that both of you may have something in common, maybe they can be your new network in professional life, maybe new friends, or anything. The certainty is a bit higher. But meeting someone new at a bar, or at a club, it could be clueless, but hey, both of you can have some chit-chat – and it’s just like Tinder or any other sites. Nothing much indeed we can expect from anyone to be our “knight in shining armor”, but actually, meeting someone new can lead you to unexpected opportunities.
The stigma in society to go to a bar and meet someone new is to get a hookup, shit me not. The stigma in society being on a dating site is to get a date, but most likely, a hookup, too. Can’t really deny it. But some people, odd people, maybe like me, or some of my matches, getting a hookup on dating site is not our top notch. Actually, I barely swipe someone right just because I want to date or “fuck” them. If they seem legit and compromising (oh well, I don’t only judge by look, but what kind of effort they put on their bio and maybe their workplace and education) – chances are more likely for me to swipe them right. Dating site is not for finding love for me and for some people; I suppose Rihanna had once foretold this: “We found love in a hopeless place,”. Tinder, OkCupid, or any kind dating sites seem to be a hopeless place to me and lots of people, let’s agree on this page.
But after matching with someone and had some talks with them, I’d always do my research. Go checking to their instagram, etc, and even, their Linkedin. No, it’s not that I’m a freak, but taking a look by googling their names and checking their social media accounts can give me a hint what to expect from them. Would they be my beneficial network – professionally? Would they be my “lift” to enhance my self-branding? We never know. Sounds so hypocrite, but if there’s a good chance and doesn’t harm anyone, why not?
So, let’s talk what I’ve got, or some of my matches have got from our matches in dating sites besides someone to hook up with. Yes, I’ve got a few to be my date for a short time. Well, just a rare luck. But I’ve got something more precious than just a date or sex from it. Shockingly, my best friend and my kind-of-partner-in-crime was founded on Tinder. Good thing is, he’s not only just being my best friend, he even lets me to get to know to new people, work opportunities, better networks, my working partner, and stuffs. Even free 2 cups of coffee, LOL, why not. Not only that, from being in some dating sites, I can help some people in need, giving donation and charity, great! Again, I even can get to know to some CEOs, vices, etc., of quite known agencies/companies. Sounds not so bad, right?
But amongst all of it, what I really love being in dating sites is to get new perspective, to see other worlds, other opinions, other thoughts – that I’ve not heard or thought about before. Being open is the key. You don’t need to always accept to them all the time when it just doesn’t meet your value, but getting to know it would open your mind, and to be someone better than can accept amy kind of diversities; not only races or beliefs, but opinions, thoughts and ways of life. Whether you can understand it or not, at least, from knowing something so new to you won’t shock you and make you less judgemental, like, for real. Hence, it feels like raising your value as a human, right? Seeing the world from another perspective, at least to me, it sounds fun.
Perhaps I’m not as lucky as my friend that could get married to her match at 3 A.M in the morning, or find the love of my life. But dating sites have been great for me.
But, well, what can you expect from dating sites?
