Lots of people are struggling to move on and start a new life after breakup, it may take months, and even years. We all have been there, too, or maybe, some of you currently are. It’s not a rare event a friend of yours ask you this, “how did you move on from your last ex?”.
Darling, we all have been there, like, literally. Not only to a friend o’ mine, or yours, or anyone’s, sometimes, it happens to ourselves. So obvious how we want/ed to let go our exes, we overthink, we are over worried, wondering, “Does s/he still love me? Will s/he be into me again? What if when I let them go, they’re getting back to me?”. It got me thinking, either to decide to let go or to stay needs big courage. Not so bad to tryna stay and have some hope – giving the second chance. Some relationships just work better on the second trial. But probably most of it, not, getting stucked with memoirs of your ex could be unhealthy for you. So the best answer is to move on and start your new single life being free and perhaps, start seeing someone new.
But some of us, do play with fire.
I once slept with my ex… es. I don’t really remember, but I’m highly sure I’ve slept with one of them after breaking up. And I’m not alone. Some of my friends did it. Some people also do it. Even, some people stay being in sexual relationship with their exes. The love is over – is our great sex over? Later! Or some of us just simply unintentionally fall into this stupid decision: reminiscing old love. But from what I still remember why I did have sex with my ex last time it was because I simply was curious – “would the sex be still as great as we used to have?”. It was kinda risky, I couldn’t deny the fact that I still had feelings towards him, but that wasn’t the main reason. I just wanted to fuck him and get the answer of: “Will it be a good idea keeping him as my fuck buddy?”. And, voilé! The answer is no, at least to my question, and I can’t deny the fact actually I’ve found better lovers who could do me better in bed than him. But, did I regret it? No. Neither was I happy after fucking him but I was glad I did it, although it was particularly….. bad.
But, is it a bad idea to sleep with your ex?
I can say there’s no absolute answer for that. It could be just fine, or maybe great – if you two had a great sex, like, why not? Who’s not up to great sex, right? Maybe after that you can get back together or just simply… we had a great sex and it was great. Mood booster. Or, simply fine – “I needed sex and the only person who was available only my ex, whatever!”, afterall you won’t be a bitch fucking your ex anyway, as long as you two enjoy it and it was just sex. Indeed, chances are likely to be bad idea, it prevents you from moving on, getting over him, or being stucked in the same cycle, blah blah blah! Catching up with your ex in bed could lead to many things, and it’s highly situational.
There’s a friend o’ mine had sex with his ex accidentally and nothing happened after that, it was just a plainly errant. But, whatever, both party don’t make it as a big deal ‘til today. Another friend o’ mine, he’s probably had uncounted makeup sex with his ex, but to me and even himself (but he still does it anyway, so whatever), is a bad idea. He gets stucked to that unhealthy, toxic cycle, making it harder to let go, yet even a courage to leave means nothing – until it drove him to pronounce this: “I guess I’ll wait the time where we’d kill each other,”. Horrible, but there’s nothing I can do about that because it’s his choice and he’s just that intractable… I peradventure will wait for the news them killing each other on news. Weird flex but OK.
When basically after sex, women tend to get their oxytocin risen up, and makes them getting so hooked up with their partner – oxytocin leads you to feel comfortable with your partner and normalise everything your partner does even it’s not good for you plainly because you’ve surrendered and stuffs. Whilst men, generally don’t feel the same, as streotypes say: “boys go logically, whilst girls with feelings” – and it’s ended up to the men: “fuck affection, lust first!”. It’s simply a basic knowledge about how hormones work to both genders, but again, there’s no significant proof to generalise it.
Perhaps it just doesn’t happen to my second case – that a friend of mine’s stucked in a toxic relationship. Either it’s because his hormones work differently or, I don’t know. Or maybe my oxytocin wasn’t working well so I felt nothing after having sex with my ex; I seriously have no idea about it. Speaking about this, like I’ve said before, I genuinely can say, we can’t generalise it.
But, did it make me feel like a bitch after having sex with my ex last time, because I was just curious? Well, I didn’t feel it that way. I felt like holding a champion trophy after, I felt still being wanted by him although I didn’t want him anymore sexually, like I was proud, “Damn, ma! My coochie is that good!”. My feelings towards him weirdly got decreased drastically after I had sex with him. Even, it made me easier for me to get over him and worse to say, I just dumped him like that. I indeed do feel like a dickhead, but, whatever. I felt so powerful after that. I finally felt like a man: fucking for purely physical gratification. God, it felt that good to be an antithesis of general feminism. My confidence’d got boosted after that. Sorry not sorry, but I’m proud being slutty about this. So. Fucking. Sexually. Awakening.
So, is it recommended to have sex with your ex when your relationship is over? No absolute answer. But I don’t find something wrong to do so, ONLY IF you already understand youself that good. Of course it can turn out poorly, but definitely you’ll learn and understand yourself better after putting yoursef in danger. Well, it’s possible for you to feel no good, and you can just quit. That’s a part of learning. Perhaps if you’re lucky – as luck as me, fucking your ex could help you let them go. Anyway, the choice is in your hand.
Goodluck, darlings!
–
Rachel: “Look, I know you think she was the one, but I don’t. Now, I think you’re just remembering the good stuff. Next time you look back, I, uh, I really think you should look again.”
– 500 Days of Summer
